


Futile Struggle

by ArtemisRae



Series: 31 Days Drabbles [16]
Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Angst, Community: 31_days, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-24
Updated: 2007-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-04 10:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisRae/pseuds/ArtemisRae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus saw it coming long before she acknowledged it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Futile Struggle

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Livejournal community 31_days, using the theme: the sudden wave of silver born in you.
> 
> Set during Order of the Phoenix.

* * *

           Remus saw it coming long before she acknowledged it – saw it peering over the horizon and felt it tugging in his mind, demanding his attention even as he tried to ignore it, tried to squash it away back into the recesses where he didn't have to worry about it.  
   
           It was after a meeting with the Order, when everyone was disbanding and leaving one by one – the teachers first, because they had to get back to school, then the rest of the group as they filtered out and tried not to attract attention. Lupin was usually the last to leave, enjoying what time alone he could get with his best friend before having to separate yet again, but this night Dora was still hanging around, she and Sirius caught up in a laugh over some old story involving her mother.   
   
           She made no move to leave and Remus cracked first, standing up and shrugging into his thin coat – _the elbow feels like it's going to go, I should patch that_ – already picturing the little patch of woods he Apparates to when he leaves and walks for where he's been sleeping recently.  
   
           "Stay a little longer, Remus!" Sirius invites, gesturing his friend closer to the fireplace where his cousin waits, and Remus hesitates and looks back at the pair.  
   
           Dora is smiling at him through her mauve bangs and violently green eyes, and he can see something flickering in his eyes, and suddenly Remus feels slightly sick. She wants him to stay, and he rather thinks he would like to stay but –  
   
           - _I can barely afford to keep myself clothed and fed, I could never support another. If I can't keep myself safe how could I guarantee her safety? There's a war going on and we're both fools and also there's that whole werewolf thing_ –   
   
           - there's every reason not to. He knows, if he stays, that it will be the end of him. He won't be able to resist, he'll give in, he'll let his will crumble, and that'll be it and it's not right, it's not fair to him or especially her.   
   
           "I'm sorry, I really should be going," he finally mumbles, and leaves the room before he can see her face fall.

* * *

  
   


End file.
